My second placement....
a "MAC" classroom.
MAC stands for Multiple Angle Classroom. Our classroom on paper has 24 students consisting of 3rd and 4th graders. However, we are conjoined with another 3rd/4th MAC class. In a day, I teach over 40 different students.
3rd grade Math
3/4 Writer's workshop with all 40+ kids at once
Social Studies for 3rd and 4th.
Getting to understand this set-up was hard. I didn't really know what was going on when it happened. From my first day at this placement, I was teaching the full load... aka- everything was going on around me.
Now that I have been there for two weeks, I have a much better hold on things. There are still a few students who's names I am not quite sure about. I still have to look at a students to decide if they are a 3rd or 4th grader.
I still miss my big kids but I am positive that these kids will wow me just as the others did.
Saturday, March 24, 2012
Tell me it's not the end. (My last day in 5th grade)
From the beginning of my first placement, I knew this day would come...
My last day at VCE.
For weeks before I walked with friends about how hard I knew it would be to leave 5th grade. I had grown so close with the students and my cooperating teacher. I knew in my heart that my next placement would not compare to what I had experienced.
As the day grew closer, I refused to talk about that day coming or what that day would be like. I didn't want to think about leaving the 43 students that had captured my heart. Even as I write this now, 3 weeks later, my eyes are welling up with tears.
The day before my last day Malachi, a student that I loved from day one, kept saying "Tomorrow is going to be the best day because you are leaving." When he said those words, I was shocked and honestly- hurt. Then I realized that he said those words to deal with the fact that someone he loved was leaving. After the hurt he has been through, his was of coping with loss was to act as though he wanted it to happen.
The night before, I went and bought candy and cards for my students. I wrote them each a personalized noted telling them how they encouraged me in my time in their class. I also thanked them for allowing me to enter into their room and for allowing me to learn from them. I held back tears the whole time.
The dreaded day was here.
When the students came up to the room they all hugged me and reminded me was day it was. They said they would be sad. Two students were assigned to take me out of the room so everyone could bring in the treats and presents that they brought for me. Kayyah and Jibreel brought me to look at the Martin Luther King projects that the other 5th graders had done in the other wing... not very subtle.
At snack time, we had cake, cupcakes, juice, and popcorn. The kids gave me gifts which I told them I would wait to open because I did not want to cry. Then Mrs. L asked the students to say a few words. Justin thanked me for the "pep talks" I would give him when he felt like the whole world was against him. Jibreel said that he wouldn't forget the eyes we would make across the room. Sean told me that he was so glad that I was in the class and that he thought I would be a great teacher. It took all I had not to break down right then and there.
At the end of the day, I gave the students the notes I gave them. Kayyah, the strong headed leader of the class, opened her note. In it I said of how I admired her strong will and strength and how I hoped that she would always use it for positive things. I told her that I loved watching her and Jibreel dance. She ran over to Mrs. L's desk and began to cry, hiding her face so that no one would see.
Right before the last bell, I was swarmed by the students for a group hug. We took a few pictures and they were gone. I began to clean up my desk and put it into a bag to take home. I was still holding back the tears, wiping each one before it fell down my face. Then, I saw the bag with the gifts that I hadn't opened. I opened the present from Kevin. Kevin reminded me so much of myself as a child. Just like Kevin, my curiously and "different" sense of humor often got me in some trouble. In the bag was a small bear and a card. I couldn't hold back the tears any more. I began to ask my friend why they did this to us. Put us in a classroom with students and take us out just 5 weeks later. It wasn't fair.
I still miss my students from 5th grade very much. I want to know how they are and hear their jokes and watch them learn. I know that at a classroom teacher, you only have your students for 10 months and then they are off to someone else. If I was to get attached like this every year, I would end up heartbroken. It is not a bad thing to love our students. We should love them. As I gain experience as a teacher, I will learn to deal with loving my students while knowing that I have to let them go eventually.
My last day at VCE.
For weeks before I walked with friends about how hard I knew it would be to leave 5th grade. I had grown so close with the students and my cooperating teacher. I knew in my heart that my next placement would not compare to what I had experienced.
As the day grew closer, I refused to talk about that day coming or what that day would be like. I didn't want to think about leaving the 43 students that had captured my heart. Even as I write this now, 3 weeks later, my eyes are welling up with tears.
The day before my last day Malachi, a student that I loved from day one, kept saying "Tomorrow is going to be the best day because you are leaving." When he said those words, I was shocked and honestly- hurt. Then I realized that he said those words to deal with the fact that someone he loved was leaving. After the hurt he has been through, his was of coping with loss was to act as though he wanted it to happen.
The night before, I went and bought candy and cards for my students. I wrote them each a personalized noted telling them how they encouraged me in my time in their class. I also thanked them for allowing me to enter into their room and for allowing me to learn from them. I held back tears the whole time.
The dreaded day was here.
When the students came up to the room they all hugged me and reminded me was day it was. They said they would be sad. Two students were assigned to take me out of the room so everyone could bring in the treats and presents that they brought for me. Kayyah and Jibreel brought me to look at the Martin Luther King projects that the other 5th graders had done in the other wing... not very subtle.
At snack time, we had cake, cupcakes, juice, and popcorn. The kids gave me gifts which I told them I would wait to open because I did not want to cry. Then Mrs. L asked the students to say a few words. Justin thanked me for the "pep talks" I would give him when he felt like the whole world was against him. Jibreel said that he wouldn't forget the eyes we would make across the room. Sean told me that he was so glad that I was in the class and that he thought I would be a great teacher. It took all I had not to break down right then and there.
At the end of the day, I gave the students the notes I gave them. Kayyah, the strong headed leader of the class, opened her note. In it I said of how I admired her strong will and strength and how I hoped that she would always use it for positive things. I told her that I loved watching her and Jibreel dance. She ran over to Mrs. L's desk and began to cry, hiding her face so that no one would see.
Right before the last bell, I was swarmed by the students for a group hug. We took a few pictures and they were gone. I began to clean up my desk and put it into a bag to take home. I was still holding back the tears, wiping each one before it fell down my face. Then, I saw the bag with the gifts that I hadn't opened. I opened the present from Kevin. Kevin reminded me so much of myself as a child. Just like Kevin, my curiously and "different" sense of humor often got me in some trouble. In the bag was a small bear and a card. I couldn't hold back the tears any more. I began to ask my friend why they did this to us. Put us in a classroom with students and take us out just 5 weeks later. It wasn't fair.
I still miss my students from 5th grade very much. I want to know how they are and hear their jokes and watch them learn. I know that at a classroom teacher, you only have your students for 10 months and then they are off to someone else. If I was to get attached like this every year, I would end up heartbroken. It is not a bad thing to love our students. We should love them. As I gain experience as a teacher, I will learn to deal with loving my students while knowing that I have to let them go eventually.
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